Heartache

Whoever has children knows heartache.  I love them with all my heart, but I sure feel like I have let them down too many times.  I worry about them and pray for them daily.

Many times I have felt inadequate as a parent and now as a grandparent.  It breaks my heart that I have not managed to share the love of Christ effectively with them.

When I read the bible scripture about the seed producing fruit, I really feel that I have missed the mark.  “But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.” (Matthew 13:23)

I have heard the word.  I am applying it to my life and living by it as best I know how.  How long must I wait to see the fruit?  That is a rhetorical question as I know that God never even promised that I would see the fruit, just that there would be a harvest and that God’s Word (when shared) would not return void.

Today, one of my own told me that I had tried to force Christianity down their throat.  Lord, forgive me if that is how I have presented the gospel.  This child has autism and often doesn’t see things the way it is intended, but even so, have I been overbearing in my attempt to lead my children to God?

Lord, please show me how to share Your great love in a way that is clear.  I know that I am imperfect but Your Word is perfect and I trust You to overcome my blunders.  I submit all of myself to You and hope for the day that all things will be made clear.

Protect those I love and guide them into Your perfect will.

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